Those I used to love...

Those I used to love…

            I sat there motionless, as still as a statue, as quiet as a mouse. My brain ran through the last ten minutes of my life over and over again, I just kept rewinding, playing, rewinding, and playing. It’s like I’m a human video camera, I can always look back on what I saw. It is like a memory I will always remember or like a nightmare I’ve wished I have forgotten.

The day started out like any other for a bride 2 days away from her wedding. It was stressful, impatient and right now I just wanted to get it over with.  My fiancé, James, was out getting our honey moon reserved and all I had to do today was re-check the guest list, get to my wedding dress fitting, and meet relatives at the air port. I slowly got into my sweats, with all the things I had to do there was no time to primp. I sat down at the wooden table in our kitchen and read over all of the people attending.

            After I dropped off my family at their hotel, I excitedly drove home hoping James was home. When I pulled up to the house all the lights were off. Hmm maybe he’s asleep? I thought. I tiptoed quietly inside trying not to disturb his sleep. When I peeked into the bedroom…it was empty. Where could he be?! I thought panicking. What if he got in a crash or is in the hospital right now?! His meeting was at 1:00 for the reservation, its 8:00. I tried to not think about him and started to make my dinner. Two hours passed and finally his car pulled up.

            Although he said he was at his office doing “extra work” I knew he was lying. The side of his mouth was up in a small smirk trying to hide his secret. I wasn’t sure if I should just let him get away with this… but he did look exhausted. “What extra work?” I asked. “Just some taxes and stuff… and you know the reservation meeting took a while...” He said nervously. Now, I was positive he was lying because over the phone the reservation agent told me he had another meeting at 1:30 so James’s meeting had to be brisk. “Ok well, Good Night.” I said. I realized I shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of him thinking I cared so much.

            Finally my wedding day is here. I’m so nervous, I’ve already cried three times today. Once when I saw my mother, twice when my dad gave me his “down the aisle” pep talk and third when I put on my beautiful, white, wedding dress. I was still waiting on my sister, Crystal, to come to get into her dress, my cousin said she had a work dilemma and was coming soon. I nervously paced, I heard James’s bachelor limo was running a little late, but I figured that was ok since all he had to do was stand by the alter and say “I do.”  I started feeling a little uneasy. “Guys, I'll be right back I need to take a walk.” I say as I escape the small room filled with bridesmaids. I lift up the wedding dress from my feet so I can walk down the hallway. As I walk, I hear laughter from inside a closet. Who would be laughing from inside a closet? I thought. I put my hand on that handle and listen closer.

            “NO!” said my cousin running towards me.  We called her lil’ lacey, she was my favorite cousin since she was born. She looked gorgeous as her bleach blonde hair flowed over her peach colored dress. “Kate” she said “You cannot go in there…” I was so confused I just wanted to know what was going on “Why not?” I demanded. “Umm, they’re employees for the wedding, the…umm waiters.” I was about to question her more until I heard a throaty chuckle come from inside the door… I was starting to realize what was going on… but… who else was in there? A familiar voice said James’s name from inside the closet.  “O Crystal...” said James. A cold tear of shock ran down my cheek and dropped to the floor.

            My hand was still on the handle… My body became overwhelmed with so many feelings. I was stressing out, I was sad, I was mad; I was furious, angry, fumed and heartbroken. All I can think of is that my fiancé and also my sister are together… on my wedding day. I flung open the door. There stood my sister that I’ve lived with for 18 years and my fiancé who I’ve been in love with for 4 years, embraced in each other’s arms.